Loki x Reader - Partners: Ch 31

You didn’t know how long the two of you stayed like that, but eventually your eyes started to drift closed and you felt the book steadily lowering to your chest. Finally you gave in to sleep and allowed the book to drop to the floor. You slowly leaned over before resting with your head and upper body by the headboard. Your arm moved down to rest on Loki’s side as he curled up closer to your legs and used them as a pillow.

-

What felt like seconds passed, and then your eyes flickered open and you registered a warm presence on your thighs and that your arm was also draped over something large and warm. You felt your face blush bright red as you realized how closely cuddled together you and Loki were. Gingerly and trying your hardest not to wake him, you pulled your arm from Loki’s side. After that, you tried to carefully sit up but Loki hugged you tighter and whimpered in his sleep.

You stopped, holding your breath, and waited for him to relax again. Loki’s grip on you was starting to grow uncomfortable. ‘Damn, Asgardians are strong.’ You found yourself thinking again.
More time passed and you squirmed uncomfortably. Finally you sighed and shook his shoulder, “Loki,” you hissed softly, “Loki, wake up.”

Loki remained asleep and scrunched his eyes shut and once more tightened his grip. You yelped in pain.

In a flash, Loki’s eyes opened and he pulled away from you, “Agent? What-?” He stopped and looked around confused. After a moment, it seemed to register that there was no danger and Loki rubbed his eyes sleepily, “What happened?” He mumbled tiredly.

“I was going to get up, I think I should go to bed, it’s getting late.”

Loki looked out the darkened window and then at his clock, it was indeed late. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “I suppose…” then he paused, “will you get me some water?”

“Sure.” You smiled, before hurrying into the bathroom and coming back. As he drank, you thought about the fact that you were also recovering from the desert, just not as severely.

“Thanks.” He muttered.

“Sure. I’m gonna go to my room though, you can call me if you need something.”

Loki frowned, “That’s downstairs…” He said slowly.

“Yes?” Loki was quiet and stared at the empty glass in his hand. “What? Do you want me to stay here or something?” You asked with a smirk. Loki looked up at you hopefully. You frowned. “Do you know how uncomfortable it is sleeping in jeans?”

Loki shook his head, “Why not wear other clothes then?” He offered as he handed the glass back to you and you set it on his nightstand.

You raised an eyebrow at him, “What, you mean like my pajamas? Have a pajama party here?”

“I don’t know how you intend to throw a party when-“

You held your hand up to quiet him, placing your other hand on your face in exasperation, “No, that’s not how it works… never mind.” Loki studied you, clearly confused. You closed your eyes and had a brief mental image of Natasha smirking at you.
But then… she was away from the tower, Bruce and Tony were the only others here and they spent most of their time in the lab. No one ever went to Loki’s room and Loki did have a point that if he needed something, it could take a long time for you to get there.

And it’s not like it was the first time you and Loki had slept in the same bed.

You opened your eyes again and looked at Loki; his head was tilted to the side and he was studying you curiously, long black hair hanging in curtains and framing his face. Your gaze drifted down to his sculpted muscles, many of which were still covered with bandages.

You sighed and rolled your eyes, then got up from the bed, “Fiiine.” You groaned in exasperation, hoping that would hide the pink in your cheeks.

Loki chuckled, “If my presence displeases you so…” He trailed off, suddenly his heart skipped a beat as he realized that this thought actually worried him. What if you really didn’t want to be around him?

You quickly shook your head, “No, no, it’s not that.” You sighed, “I’ll go get my clothes… just don’t do anything stupid in the five minutes I’ll be gone, ok?”

Loki smirked and nodded as he watched you go.

The door clicked shut behind you. Loki felt a sense of panic grip himself, just because he cared about you, didn’t mean he actually cared about you, right? You were still nothing more than a human mortal. True, he valued your presence and wouldn’t let anything happen to you, but sleeping next to you didn’t mean anything, right?

He breathed out slowly, you were just a mortal, this was strategic. He also didn’t want to truly have you out of his sight. He was just as worried about your safety as you were of his health. Shadowy fears plagued the back of his mind, filling him with worry that he wouldn’t be able to protect you should you stray too far from his contact and for too long.

Loki glanced at the clock and saw that it had been five minutes since you left. He frowned, what could be taking you so long? It was just the elevator and then down to your room.

Loki rolled over, placing both his feet on the ground and bracing himself to stand. Carefully, he started to walk towards the door, leaning heavily against the wall. Breathing in short, painful gasps and slowly growing dizzy, Loki opened his door and started to make his way through the bookshelves.

He made it past a row when the elevator door opened and he looked up to see you standing there, holding a bag.
“Loki?! What the hell?!” You ran over to him, tossing your bag to the side. Loki smiled in relief as soon as he saw you, though he could feel himself swaying. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” You growled, wrapping his arm over your shoulder.

Loki slumped against you but retained consciousness, “Thought something happened…” He mumbled.

You groaned and carefully led him back to his bed. “I went downstairs, literally five minutes you idiot. You’re driving me up a fucking wall.” You growled. “Stay here.” Then you turned and walked over to your bag, “I feel like I’m talking to a damned dog, except they actually listen when you say stay.” You stalked back over and slammed the door shut.

“Sorry.” Loki muttered sheepishly.

“I couldn’t find my pajama bottoms.” You muttered as you started digging through your bag. “You’re the one who is injured, not me, I’m fine.”

Loki had closed his eyes but you heard him huff, “You spent a week half-starved and without water, just as I did.”

“Yea, but I didn’t get tortured, that was you. I’m taking care of you. I got us out of there, but I’m still not done getting you better, so until then, I’m looking out for you. You don’t worry about me, just get yourself healed.”

“You know I can’t do that.” Loki said quietly. You looked up from your bag and saw that he was staring at you again. “I can’t let you get hurt. I will worry about you.”

You sighed before reaching out and squeezing his hand, then you shook your head. “I’m fine while we’re here at least, ok?” Loki nodded slowly. “I’m gonna shower,” then you smiled, “I’m shutting the door though, but I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

Loki smirked and rolled his eyes.
You took a quick shower before coming back out in your green satin pajamas. Loki smiled when he saw you. Looking down, you scowled, once again forgetting the color correlation until the last minute. You felt your cheeks burn and prayed Loki didn’t notice.

“Shut up.” You muttered.

“I didn’t say anything.” Loki replied innocently.

“They were my only clean matching pair. Go to sleep.” You muttered as you pulled out your blanket from your bag and crawled on top of Loki’s bed. Loki had crawled under the covers while you showered.

“Good night agent.” He said quietly as he turned the lights off with magic.

“Good night Loki.” You replied. You rolled over, keeping your back to Loki and quickly fell asleep.
Loki lay there silently, he smiled at the curve of your figure faintly illuminated in the moonlight. When the two of you had been in Mexico, he had held you close against him so neither of you would fall off the bed. Now he was too injured to risk attempting that and also doubted your willingness to be that close.
Loki frowned, trying to convince himself yet again that he only cared enough about you to protect you and that it had nothing to do with his desire to hold you. After a moment, he scowled and rolled over so he faced in the opposite direction. He too, soon fell asleep.

-

In the morning, you woke before Loki. It took you a moment to gather yourself as you recognized the change in surroundings. You rolled over and saw Loki lying on his side, deep asleep. You couldn’t help but admire his pale skin and sharp features, his lean yet muscular body, and his silky black hair spread out across his pillow. After a moment you noticed his lips were moving, as though he were speaking; thankfully there were no signs of distress on his features, but you couldn't make out the words.

You furrowed your brow and after briefly hesitating, you leaned towards him. He was clearly dreaming, and the soft smile at the corners of his mouth convinced you it was a happy dream. You strained to hear what he was saying, leaning closer to him…

Was he whispering your name?

“Agent?” Loki murmured groggily as his green eyes opened, meeting yours. He looked tired and was still blinking away sleep, “What are you doing?”

You quickly pulled away, “Nothing, nothing.” You hastily replied. “What were you dreaming about?”

Loki frowned. He was quiet for a moment, then rolled onto his back and closed his eyes, “Don’t remember.” He muttered after a bit.

“Right.” You shook your head and got up. “Let’s go get some breakfast, we can put more of that ointment on you afterwards.” Loki nodded.

You got up and dressed, then slowly helped Loki upstairs. Bruce had opted not to give Loki any painkillers, unsure just how they might affect him. The two of you ate quietly on the couch, then Loki stretched out across your lap again and you applied the ointment. Afterwards, Loki dozed beside you as you began scouring the S.H.I.E.L.D. archives for any signs of Dr. Braxton.

Night came and you returned to Loki’s room, repeating the routine of the previous night. Then the next day came, Loki spent more time awake so you brought a few of his books from the library.

-

You sighed, looking away from your laptop as your phone received a text. Loki’s gaze flickered up from his book, curious as to who it was from. “It’s Tasha,” you muttered, “she and Steve will be back sometime early tomorrow. Oh, and they got in contact with Bucky and Clint, looks like they’ll be back around then too.”

Loki tilted his head as he mulled over the information, “It seems everyone but my brother will be back then.”

“Can’t really blame him for wanting to spend time with his wife. Although, they’ll probably return to their usual setup soon. She’s still working on the Foster theory.”

Loki nodded thoughtfully, “Learning about the nature of the Bifrost is no small feat for a human.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Is that a compliment I’m hearing?” You started to smirk at him but Loki simply scowled and returned his attention to his book.

When night came, you led Loki back to his room, wondering how you might continue this routine without Natasha saying anything. If she caught on that you liked Loki, she would never let the subject drop. Even worse, she would probably tell him. You didn’t want to ruin the fragile connection you had made with him by introducing such a concept. You sighed as Loki glanced down at you, but he remained silent.

Sleep was a long time coming for Loki, you on the other hand, were out like a light instantly.
Loki rolled over onto his back, hissing slightly before adjusting to the mild discomfort. The pain was lessening by the day but it was still quite intense and he was unbearably weak.

How long had the torture with Thanos lasted? “Lifetimes…” He whispered to himself before quickly looking at you to see if you had heard him.  When he saw that you were still asleep, he closed his eyes again. Eventually it had stopped, the torture, Thanos gave him some time to heal.

No, Thanos was able to heal. At the end of each day, Thanos healed Loki’s flayed and bloodied body, allowing him to never truly forget mercy and relief. Then the next round would begin and he would lose himself to the hours, days, years; time had no meaning. Eventually the healing itself wasn’t enough and Loki was left with a constant ache. Then he came to Midgard and for the first time he wasn’t in constant pain, his body was able to heal. The beast had hurt him but, comparatively, it wasn’t that bad. Then the year or so in prison, there had been no torture. As Loki lay there, thinking about the agony he had experienced, he sank into sleep.

-

You woke up suddenly, pained noises coming from nearby. It sounded like a wounded animal. You felt nauseous suddenly, the pain being inflicted on this creature must be horrendous. The only other person around…

Your head snapped to the side and you saw Loki shaking beside you. He was making the most agonizing noises you had ever heard, hauntingly painful, and you realized tears were streaming down his cheeks, past his closed eyelids.

“Loki.” You breathed softly, heart shattering.

You thought the nightmares were nothing more than a vague memory but clearly not tonight.
You sat up and grabbed Loki’s face, smoothing your thumbs along his cheeks to wipe the tears away.

“Loki, hey, shhh, wake up.” You whispered soothingly. Still Loki continued to shake and whimper. You thought back to his last nightmare, how you had awoken him by pulling him close and trying to rock him. Then of when you had awoken him in Africa.

You blushed but didn’t have time to be embarrassed for the whimpering was intensifying. Throwing caution to the wind, you cupped his face in your hands, closed your eyes and pressed your lips to his.

Loki’s eyes opened and his gaze met yours, momentarily confused. More tears rolled down his cheeks and he pulled you against his chest, hugging you tightly and not saying a word. His strong arms wrapped around you made you feel safe, but then, you always felt safe around him.

You hugged him back as fiercely as you could, wanting to share that sense of safety. You rested your head on his uninjured shoulder and with one hand you stroked his other shoulder, remembering the precise place the deep diagonal gash ended. “I’m here Loki, I’ll keep you safe.” You murmured. Loki’s breathing slowly evened out again and the two of you fell into deep peaceful slumbers.

-

Loki woke before you and looked down at your warm figure that was curled so tightly against him. He frowned as he thought of your petal soft lips on his own. Surely that was just a dream and hadn’t happened, right?

For a moment, he lay there, enjoying everything about you. The way your body curved perfectly against his, your gossamer hair sprawled out on his chest, your small delicate hand resting on his shoulder, the way your skin glowed in the morning light, how soft you felt pressed against him, and even the delicate movements brought about by your breathing.

Loki smiled, but surely you hadn’t kissed him, after all he was a Jotun, a monster – not that you necessarily knew, that didn’t make it any less true.

And then of course, there was no way he could care about you in that way, right?

No, it must have been an unusual dream, brought on by your close proximity. You had probably grown cold in the night and moved towards the only source of warmth.

Loki had convinced himself of all this by the time you opened your eyes.
“Agent?” He murmured, his amusement clear in his voice, “what are you doing?”

You felt your cheeks flush bright red, “S-sorry.” You stammered out, quickly moving away. Loki chuckled. Oh how you loved that sound. Then your eyes widened and you quickly rolled over, “Shit. Natasha and Bucky and everyone are getting back today.”

Loki nodded quickly, “Right.”

“I’m going to go get dressed and greet them. You stay here. I’ll help you get up in a bit, ok?” Loki nodded again. “Go back to sleep.”

Loki sighed, then realized he did still feel drowsy. “Mmmk.” He muttered before rolling back over.

You got up and tossed your things in your bag before hurrying down to your room and dressing. After you showered, a thought struck you that Natasha might check on your room. Flopping onto your bed, you rolled around some and made sure to ruffle the blankets.
Then you stopped your movements for a moment and last night’s events came back to you. Had you really kissed Loki? He didn’t say anything… Surely that was just a dream then. A pleasant one, albeit, but a dream nonetheless.

You left your room just as Natasha strode down the hallway. “Tasha!” You called happily.

She turned around and smiled, quickly hurrying over to hug you. “(Y/n)!” She said after pulling away, “It’s so good to see you! Clint and Bucky just got back. Bucky is dying to check on Loki. Is he up?”

“Dunno. I was just going to go check on him.”

Natasha frowned reproachfully, “You left him alone?”

“Just for the night. I’m not sleeping in that chair every night until he gets better. He can call me if he needs something.”

She nodded slowly, “Fair enough.”

“I’ll go get him up, Bucky’s in the lounge, yea?”

“After he stops in his room, that’s where everyone plans to meet.”

“Alright, see you shortly.”

You hurried upstairs and helped Loki get out of bed. Then the two of you went up to the lounge and greeted Bucky and Clint. The two men were shocked by Loki’s state but glad to see that you had both made it back alive. They were also pleased to hear he was improving but you could tell they were surprised that with how weak he looked, it was still considered an improvement.
You spent the rest of the afternoon catching up and eating your favorite foods.

When night came you helped Loki back to bed before parting ways. As you crawled into your own bed, it struck you how much you missed the comfort of Loki beside you. Just as you drifted to sleep, you wondered if Loki felt the same.

You wouldn’t know it, but he did.